Monday, July 13, 2009

Smooth move ex-lax....

I have a story to tell and those of you who sew (and those who don't) may appreciate it.

Our local police department is in the same building as the library I work at and I've gotten to know the chief pretty well. The Chief has recently hired some new employees and has asked me to do some sewing for him. Now I like to quilt, but by no means does that mean I can sew clothes. Yes, I have in the past put together a robe, cape, a vest or two and miscellaneous Halloween costumes. But something a professional has to wear in public? Nope nothing like that. I told all this to the Chief and he said give it a try and see how it works out. Basically it's all been easy stuff like sewing on patches and such. About every other week he has a stack of stuff for me to do, so it's not like I'm real busy sewing for him.

Last week he had three shirts that needed patches, a bullet proof vest that needed tails and two pairs of pants that needed to be hemmed. Sounds easy right? Well, I've never hemmed pants before. After reading my trusty sewing machine instruction manual on how to sew hems, I jumped right on that first pair of pants.

I had KISS playing on the old cassette player in my sewing room and was singing along, hollering at kids once in a while and got that first pair of pants hemmed up! I decided to do the patches next, no problem. On to the vest tails (picture a short black vest with a 4" x 8" piece of fabric hanging from the middle in the front and back - to tuck it in and keep it snug, of course) no problem.

Last pair of pants to hem.... Still listening and singing along to KISS, reminisced about seeing them at Rock Fest a few years ago and how much fun that was... Remembered how my brother got me hooked on KISS when we were kids living in Wasilla... Recalled the funny things we said way back then.... And OH SHIT!!

I was measuring one pant leg for a 33" inseam, thinking about Krissy saying measure twice, cut once and cut off 2" from the pant leg so I could turn it back and hem it. I then went to get the other pant leg up on my ironing board to measure it and cut, but the pants slipped off the ironing board. I picked them up and did my measuring and cut again.

Next step would be to do a zig-zag stitch around the cut to prevent it from unraveling. Did the first pant leg and on to the next, but low and behold that leg had not been cut yet!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine what I was feeling and thinking right then?

The phrase smooth move ex-lax was rolling through my mind along with dozens of swear words..

Long story short I thought about just scrapping that pair of pants. But I decided to see if I could sew that cut off piece back on and hem it from there. So, I did. Then the next problem was could I make the other leg match that one? It took a while but I finally got them matched.

What a day... It's Beer-thirty...

P.S. Should I tell the Chief?


PAK ART said...

That is a very good story, I laughed and laughed. I even pulled my husband over to read it. You must have had that moment of disbelief, it's not possible, feeling for just a second before you realized it was, in fact, very possible. I've had those moments. I'm amazed you got the other pant leg to does one side have extra stitching around it? And no, don't tell the Chief. Just snicker under your breath everytime he walks by in those pants.

Aunt Krissy said...

That was a real smart one! Don't tell the Chief so I can blackmail you!

Horse Woman said...

I have had those moments before except with horses not pants.

crochet lady said...

Poor you, although I have to admit I was laughing as I was reading. My lips are sealed, it'll be our little secret.

tainterturtles said...

Oh my....that is hilarious. Thanks for commenting on my photos. I miss you all.